Monday, June 11, 2012

Short Mini Poem by FB


The Hot Blazing Sun - F.B (Short Mini Poem)

The hot blazing sun scorched Venus
as it trotted along its quarterly hike
across the sun's surface.
Making no spots,
or it would become a pile of ash,
floating through space like an asteroid.
Venus,
scared as can be,
panting for hours,
had finally finished this painful trek.
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14 comments:

  1. picklegalJune 11, 2012 at 6:28 AM

    Awsome poem!!!!!!!! you really captured the feel of the event

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  2. AnonymousJune 11, 2012 at 6:32 AM

    I like the way you used personifications, it really made your writing come to life.

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  3. UnknownJune 11, 2012 at 6:33 AM

    Nice job F.B It's really good
    (I know who you are)

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  4. Daniel P.June 11, 2012 at 6:37 AM

    Cool. But space is dark, and I see why Venus was scared, hence: Personification. Venus must have been small compared to the huge, blazing sun. I would have been scared!

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  5. NONepicrajahJune 11, 2012 at 6:38 AM

    Wow, this poem really captures it like Venus was a person! it really fits the picture we saw in class

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  6. AnonymousJune 11, 2012 at 6:38 AM

    I like the way you used personifications

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  7. NoraJune 11, 2012 at 6:39 AM

    Itresting, although i have no idea what the venus transit. I think your poem is very cool, i like how you used personifacation like scared. it really give the planet emotion and makes your poem intresting!

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  8. picklegalJune 11, 2012 at 6:43 AM

    I liked the sentence "scared as can be, panting for hours, had finally finished this painful trek" it used many personifications and the last sentence was written carfully in my eyes.

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  9. AnonymousJune 11, 2012 at 6:44 AM

    To ?F.B?

    I highly enjoyed this short mini poem, it used great personifications and conveyed a great message to the reader. It was very descriptive (kinda)since it was a short story poem thing!!! I really like how you said "as it trotted along its quarterly hike!!!" it really made me see the image clearly!!!

    From DonutLover227!!! and CroatiaLover827

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  10. littlesardineJune 11, 2012 at 1:01 PM

    Who knew that a science news story on the transit of Venus could result in such a staggering beautiful piece of writing! Thank-you for sharing it with us.

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  11. chuck norrisJune 15, 2012 at 6:41 AM

    it is very interesting that you added the picture to show what you were thinking so that you can read it go "wow he got all that info from just that!".

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  12. KTJune 15, 2012 at 6:52 AM

    I liked how you took all this inspiration from planets, I can't write about anything but aniamls and landscapes, much less planets! Its really good, and it sort of captured how Venus 'feels'.

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  13. AnonymousSeptember 9, 2012 at 6:08 PM

    I really liked the way you wrote your free verse about planets, not just some usual topic and poetry form.

    V.F.

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