Immigration Story by V.F.
The rain beat down the cobble road. The shattered glass from the shops littered the ground. People were fleeing because the Nazi forces were advancing. Austria was in despair. Romain, his wife Clara and their 2 sons: Jans and Ruben were also preparing for their journey.
"We will leave at night and cross the border," said Romain.
"But papa"- said Jans, "we will have to face the German patrols".
"We will say that we were just visiting Austria and are now on our way back to Switzerland". "Actually you will say it, "- said Romain pointing at Ruben.
"No! Why?" - yelled Ruben .
"Because you are the youngest, they will believe you," said Clara. It was the first thing she said in days because she was really depressed by the whole war.
At a Quarter to midnight they headed out. As they proceeded, they were stopped right at the border by a German. "Hello sir," said Romain. The German only grunted. Then he noticed something in Ruben's hand. He grasped it open. "A ha! Austrian currency - we have an Austrian!".
"No sir you see I am a big coin collector since and since we were visiting Austria I thought it would be neat to take at least one coin. The journey is long we had to leave our backpacks behind so I had nowhere to carry it in," said Ruben.
The patrolman yelled, "Öffnen Sie die Tore" and the gates were suddenly opened. The family advanced not only to a new country but to a new life.
When I was finishing my story I thought that immigration is mostly associated with something painful, when people are running from something bad and looking for a better life. In my case it is different. I moved to Canada 6 years ago because my parents were adventurous and wanted to experiment. They decided to move to Canada and expose a different life for me. We really liked being here so we stayed and became a part of the country. In a word we are sort of Ukracandians or may be Candukrainians. And I love it!
My hear was pounding at the part about the border... I thought they were caught for sure!
ReplyDeleteI really like how you added the personal comments at the end of the story. It really helped me to understand your perspective better.
ReplyDeleteFunny ... Ukracandians, Candukrainians!
I can totally undersand how the kid would feel if he had to speak to the German soldiers. nice story!
ReplyDeleteA nice concise setting of the scene, creating tension and then moving to a conclusion.
ReplyDeleteI like the use of dialogue.
Please review use of colon (main clause needs to be to left of colon). Also, with quotations you normally would not follow with dash "-". These are minor points but you might as well get them correct :-)
I like the personal comments at the end and actually chuckled out loud when I read the "Ukracandians or may be Candukrainians" comment. Keep up the good work!
Thank you very much for the feedback. I would really appriciate more detail on the use of the colon.
ReplyDelete